The Moment of Truth..

Who will steal the concept? Who will bring it to India? Will be able to see another slumdog millionaire in the next few years? Will it be a new kid on the block, or some famous production house or the guys who claim to have the best sense of humor in film industry?

Today I watched the TV game show “Moment of Truth” for the first time and the first thought that came to my mind is that who will steal this concept because it looks like a crowd puller. The show simulates a lie detecting environment and you have to answer questions on your personal life in front of your family members. And these questions are not the comfortable ones but actually will involve lot of grilling and the worse thing is that you can’t even refuse to sit on the lie detecting machine. Another popular show "Hole in the Wall" is already 'adapted' and Syrus is hosting it in Hindi. I am wondering why 'Moment of Truth' which will enter its second season is not copied yet? Maybe, somebody is planning big for it. "Ismein aisa kya daal doon ki show mera ho jaye" type.

The moment you refuse to answer any question, you are out. It is an interesting game show with lots of drama and I am sure that if some of the so called intellectuals from our film industry are watching this show then they must be salivating too hard. This is really one show where there is lot of scope to dramatize things. And mirch masala is something we all love. More about the format is here.

So let’s wait for the show to be presented in India and I am damn sure the funniest question will be for the producer/director “This show is your original concept?” I am sure that there are many filmmakers here who can fail the lie detector with their confidence. So let’s wait for it. To put it more aptly, let's wait for the "Moment of Truth".

Behind the Scenes of Raaz, the mystery continues..

Let me break the first mystery - "ki ye naya concept kanha se uthaya hai Mukesh bhai sahab ne?" The concept is shamelessly ripped off from the popular TV Series Heroes where the character of Isaac Mendez use to paint future. He was the author of a famous comic series "The 9th Wonder". And the most famous of his paintings which was his last one as well was painted on the floor. That's the mystery behind this ripped off concept. Mr. Bhatt junior might have borrowed his central character from Heroes, the zombie artist Isaac Mendez and have given him the Indian touch.

Watching Heroes might have been an 'Eureka' moment for the director. The concept was good but movie ke liye you need a full script. And there the twists and turns started. And jab koi star nahin mila to apna superstar Hashmi sahi. Still there were doubts in the mind of some people.

Producer - "Sir aab Imraan Hashmi ki picture kaun dekhta hai?, chalo phir bhi naam kya rakhenge Sir?
Director - Well, even I don't know what the movie will be like? Abhi to puri story bhi taiyaar nahin hui hai?
Producer - Kya baat kar raho ho? Story is not ready yet? Why?
Director - I don't know yaar, it's a Raaz.

Now, this was the eureka moment for another Bhatt family member. He shouted from behind Call it "Raaz part 2" only.

Director - But Papa ji! it is not at all related to Raaz.
Papa ji - Who cares, you know, I know, the crew knows it but audience doesn't know it right? Let them discover. And don't worry about the hit or flop thing. At-least we will ask one great movie reviewer to write rave reviews about it. (You all know who the famous reviewer is, who not only review the movie but also predict about it's collection)

The only original thing about this movie is the dialogue " Kutte ki maut aati hai to wo ek kona pakad ke baith jaata hai" To add weight to this dialogue, they even portray the character in a 'kona' of his house. Or may be the script writer wrote the original line about "Geedar ki maut" but "Geedar" might have been too old fashioned for the creative genius of the Bhatt parivar. "Geedar geedar sab kahe, kutta kahe naa koi" So there goes the "Kutte ki maut".

Isn't it the creative genius of the director that the whole movie is centered around one dialogue "Tum Ashudh ho, Tum Sadh Chuke Ho". This mysterious dialogue takes us on the journey of 5 lives interconnected. Anyways, during the entire duration of the film I was feeling like the producer and director wanted to send this message across to 'Ramu the great' that " Tum Ashudh ho, Sadh chuke ho, isliye apna kona pakad ke baith jao". We have given two horror hits so, please refrain from this genre now.

Okay, so now here is the story lineup. A person supposedly managing a 'NGO' is murdered and a Englishmen is involved. His last call was made to a TV reality show host who then sells the tapes to the Gora in exchange for producing his TV series. Then after the success of his TV reality show, he bought a flat from that money and then gifts that flat to his love in life. Kangna holds the flat keys in her hand and that was the moment when ghost decided to haunt her as if "he was waiting ki kab ghar kharide and kab ladki aaye and kab hum shuru ho jayein". If the show would have flopped perhaps the ghost would have never decided to haunt him thinking ki "leave it yaar, bechare ko itne paise bhi naa mile ki ghar ka EMI de sake, sharm aati hai mujhe apni maut pe. Isko haunt kar ke kya milega, let's go and haunt his girl friend instead".

Well, the bhoot might be too scared to take panga with the Junior Sekhar Suman "Kya pata Sekhar bhai sahab agli movie khud produce karein and usmein Jackie will be given a negative role and junior Sahab will do his pitai. So Jackie might have requested or Mohit might have requested him to haunt Kangna only. Waise bhi who will come to watch this son of Shaker to be haunted on screen? So there it goes.

So the bhoot decides to enjoy with the leading lady like waiting for the Kangna to enter the bath tub and then playing around with the lights. "Arre bhai bhuton ka bhi koi iman dharam hota hai yaar, thodi mood lighting ho jaye, phir enjoy karte hain". But, agar ghost is here to enjoy it alone then what is the use of our serial kisser Hashmi? So suddenly he wishes to play around and start throwing stupid visions to Imran. And poor Imran living alone, hooked on beer and might be reading a lot of stupid bollywood magazines suddenly starts painting his imagination on canvas.

All his paintings carries images of Kangna and they both discover together the mystery. Jackie da is too fat for a ghost and reminds that "upar jaa ke bhi khana badhiya milta hai bhai". Imran tries to fit into the role but Kangna's boyfriend is a total waste in the role of the reality show star. In the award function, they simple nominate this only reality show and give the award to him. No Farah Khan, No Sajid Khan, kaisa award hai bhai? No insult, no poor jokes nothing. Kaisa award hai bhai? Sajid ko naa sahi kam se kam Rakhi Sawant ya Mandira Bedi ko to bulate?

Anyways movie is a total waste of time and money. But yeah, you can take your girlfriends to this movie and to put this message across that for any of her unjust demands, it will be she who will be hunted by ghost aka jackie aka Mukesh or forget it yaar, aise bhoot se darta kaun hai? Bhoot lagta hai face painting competition se bhaag kar aaya hai.

MTV Roadies - Behind the Scenes

No no no. I am no way associated to the Roadie franchisee and this "behind the scenes" version is written as the Roadies is in progress. (Not even related to the one where all the crew members sit in front of the camera and try to make the audience believe that whatever is happening is real).

The most pleasant sight is watching Devarshi doing the Ghoda dance in the room itself. Well may be this is the kind of scene which inspired the famous PJ "Ek ghoda doosre se poochta hai ki bhai? Ye Ghode pe gadhe ko kisne bitha diya?" (One horse is asking the other that who made this donkey sit on the top of this horse?) And what a dance he did. Despite of all the shoes and sandals which was thrown by the crew members of the show (a small indication of the respect they have towards participants of this show). Well, waise bhi getting shoes thrown at you is now a status symbol. Don't believe this? At-least the most powerful person on the earth for eight years will swear by this.

Another scene is where the girl with a funny accent (Tamanna) runs to the terrace, two guys run behind her thinking she might commit suicide and well, well, well the cameraman also runs behind her with a camera (so irresponsible). But then you know that it's a reality show and like all the reality shows made in India, there are just a very few things real here as well (only) .

Anyways, another very interesting part was when the "Singh is King" (well the original Singh is King is now busy preparing an explanation why Chandni Chowk to China flopped so badly. He has to explain otherwise this lad won't go to Africa) brand guy Pradeep kicks the living daylight out of the Ahmedavadi Devarshi. I am sure after watching this episode, a Marathi poster leader will try to expand his empire to Gujrat as well, because this is a clear example of a North Indian ill treating a Gujrati boy. A spokesperson might also claim that the shoe which hit on his face came from a someone who belong to the other part of India.

There was discussion going around in our office that MTV is slowly becoming a beep channel. I think that it's a conscious effort on the part of the franchisee to get this positioning. And they want to stick to it now. I am not sure how far this will go because at some point they need to alter the format to keep the fun alive. Beeps spoil half the fun. Waise bhi all the hooplah around the "Hell Down Under" is fizzing out and it seems that "Visa nahin bana hai abhi tak. Jinka reject ho gaya wo show se bahar nikal diye gaye and jinka banega wahi jaa payenge. Isliye bechare India mein hee naach rahe hain". Cost cutting ka jamana hai bhai. Waise bhi Slumdog ne dikha diya hai ki Garibi mast chalti hai and mast bikti hai. Maybe this one thought inspired the Gobar collection task.

Chalo, the show has still some half an hour to go and thanks god! somebody invented remote.

Just In.. "Microsoft is Firing"

Oh God! I must be dreaming. No posts for more than three months and then suddenly two posts in a day. This was the day

Well, our News Channels as well as Business News Channel might be slow in reporting this news (after all the source is same for me and them, the only thing is that I probably understand the implication this news could have on several other things) but the news is just in that "Microsoft is Firing". When TCS gave pink slips to 700 (about 0.7% of total workforce) employees, it became a big news and IT stocks lost the favor from investors, this news is surely going to have an impact. Perhaps a bigger one.

In a major development today Microsoft announced that it's going to downsize about 5% of it's workforce (5000 employees) to streamline costs. What is more alarming is that the company has also decided to eliminate merit-based pay rises, cut travel costs and reduce the use of contractors to increase the profitability. And to top this all, it's happening with Microsoft, a company which everyone believed will stand tall as computers are slowly becoming integral part of everybody's life and the demand for which will grow even during tougher times. Well, it's happening and it has just begun.

What does this mean for the IT, ITES industry?

The reason behind this desperate measure is to shore up the profitability as the company is able to see the slump in the global demand for the sales of PC or Laptops (bad news for Dell, Compaq, HP, Lenovo and millions of supply chain partners like vendors, resellers and distributors). All these manufacturers will start bundling their hardware with Free or cheaper open source softwares to cut their costs further deepening the slump in the sales of Microsoft products. Sensing this threat, Microsoft is trying to take appropriate steps by right-sizing the workforce.

“Economic activity and IT spend slowed beyond our expectations in the quarter,” Chief Financial Officer Chriss Liddel said in the statement. “We acted quickly to reduce our cost structure and mitigate its impact.” (Source - Bloomberg).

In this statement lies the clue for Indian IT/ITES industry. The slowing down of IT spend is alarming. Nortel which use to be one of the top 10 client of one of the top 5 Indian ITES company filed for Bankruptcy protection on a cold Wednesday morning. Other clients are either delaying their budgets or canceling the existing contracts. Clients are asking the companies to renegotiate the deals and the day is not far when they will even ask to halt the development or off-shoring to preserve cash.

The top 3 Indian IT companies have reported growth despite of the downturn but there is a sense of fear in the reported numbers. For the first time in six years all these companies are speaking of caution. The way Microsoft has reacted today, I am sure it will instill a sense of panic and will send a shock wave among the employees, stock holders and analyst all over the world. After all Microsoft was supposed to be above everything.

Let's see if our IT companies also follow in the foot steps of the big brother or they go slow and adopt the wait and watch policy which will mean avoiding the extreme step of retrenchment and adopting other measures like incentive cuts, salary cuts etc. It's surely going to be a tough time ahead. This year doesn't seem to be better than the last one. Anyways, let's pray for the 1400 of Microsoft Employees would loose their job tonight.

Jo hona hai hoga, for the time being let's believe in our Prime Minister's assurance that India is relatively insulated from this crisis (which he is repeating along with the ex Finance Minister Mr. Chidambaram since the stock market was at 22000 levels about one year ago ). I don't know how many of Indians will be among those 5000.

(As I finish writing this post, Dow is down by 3%, Nasdaq fell by 4% while S&P 500 also shed some 3% from the Yesterday's gains. Microsoft has lost 10%. Infosys ADR has lost some 5%, Wipro has lost 10%, Cognizant by 5% and IBM has lost some 7% by now. )

A Wednesday!

And the terror hit the Stock Market this time.

The day Satyam's news broke out people were in mad rush of selling shares. Call it coincidence or sixth sense, I advised one of my friend to sell all his Satyam shares before Wednesday and I specifically mentioned that market will fall on Wednesday. I never thought that this prophecy will come true. And what a fall it was.

Raju has definitely added a chapter in the "Sabse Bada Scamsters" an yearly magazine published jointly by CBI and CID. This magazine consists of all those people whom CBI probed but never was able to prove a case against them. Lalu Yadav, PV Narsimha Rao, Rajiv Gandhi, Hinduja, Abdul Karim Telgi, Harshad Mehta, Ketan Parekh all have decorated the front pages of this magazine but then Raju or Raju brothers deserve a special mention. They did not fool only the investors but rather all their stakeholders including Foreign Investors. He can gloat in glory "Lalu ne sirf poor Bihari logon ko loota, Harshad ne sirf stock investors ko loota, Ketan ne sirf bankers ko loota, but Humne to sabko barabar loota. Aur to aur Americans ko bhi khoob loota".


Scam ka king kaun? "Raju Bhai, Na Raju Bhais"

CID is investigating it, SEBI might just get some time to chat friendly with brothers and our honorable prime minister will keep monitoring the progress on this issue and then finally our honored CBI will be pulled into action. And then? Kya hoga aagey? Honestly I don't know. Nobody knows, not even the chief of CBI.

Well, one thing is sure that a scam of this magnitude cannot be pulled by just one man. Many more stakeholders are there and it's just about time when the body count will increase.

That's about Satyam. I think this issue brought me back to blogging. (and also increased the credibility of my stock tips) I am planning to migrate to my own domain name and currently I am searching for a cheap and reliable web hosting service provider. I am promising myself to take some time out for blogging atleast on weekends. So let's hope I keep the promise this time. Anyways, I am writing one investigative article on Satyam Scandal and am hopeful that I will be able to pack it with information.

"The Year of Terror"

Bangalore, Ahmedabad, Delhi and now the fourth Metro to be targeted in the same year. What more you can wish for? That too in one year.

Another day, another city and so many lives. I woke up this morning with the shocking news about what happened in Mumbai but worse was the news about what is happening in Mumbai. This is really unprecedented and if prime minister is to be believed (if he is to be believed) then perhaps this will not be repeated but well we are hearing the same words over and over again.

It seems that we are slowly becoming a country of 1 billion dumb, lame people. Our lives have become so cheap that when 100 of Indians are killed nobody notices and all the press coverage is given to some foreigner's bodies. Nothing affects us until it happens to us or our people. Prime minister appeared on TV and made some vague statements about things which should have been done earlier. The police cribs about no intelligence input and the best is the joke cracked by Intelligence that "this attack is clearly a terrorist attack". I don't understand what was taking intelligence agencies to take so long to say something which even any assho** can say.

This might be just another terror attack but it comes at a time when most of the cities are supposed to be on high alert and then suddenly out of blue some 40-50 people land on the shores with automated guns and grenades and suddenly start firing on innocent people. They take a city on hostage and kill hundred of people, they kill some senior police officer and meanwhile also kill some well identified targets which were mainly whites and westerners. And well in the middle of everything our media is cracking jokes. Some sample are -

Deepak Chaurasia - Looks at the dome of Taj and says that "Meri analysis kah rahi hai ki Taj ke doosri side mein aag lagi hai jo kabhi tez ho rahi hai aur kabhi kam ho rahi hai". (I think that there is fire on the other side of Taj which is rising and dying at times). Well his anal-a-ysis was actually right and there was fire on the other side of the Taj dome which the other news channels were already showing.

Umesh Kumawat - He repeated the same lines for minimum ten times that it's really a painful situation and terrorists have taken some 30 people as hostage.

India TV even claims that they have a caller from Oberoi hotel (where terrorists have holed up) and though he says that he is from Deccan Hyderabad, India TV proves that the guy on phone sounds Kashmiri.

And the height was prime minister's speech where he repeated the rhetoric that this was a cowardly attack (now what you want more, should they come with armored tanks and missiles? Would that be a brave attack). During his award winning (award was prime minister's chair during the no-confidence motion) he mentioned that Advani's astrologer is ill advising Advani. Well, I am not sure what to say about prime minister's astrologers or about his advisors.

One thing I can say with surity is that life of an ordinary citizen is now in the hands of these few terrorist. It's on them to decide where, when and how? And well, we all know what will be the sequence of events after the next terrorist attack. Ab bhi nahin samjhey kya? TV Dekho, TV..

Is the banking trust broken? My experience

One of the fallouts of the ongoing financial crisis is that it seems that banking trust has broken or at-least in the process of breaking up. They may not accept it on the face and issue public statements like everything is safe and sound and that the deposits are secure, there are some tell-tale signs that the mutual trust between banks is weathering out.

There are things happening with me and several others which shows you that the desperation on the part of the bank has increased for two things -

1. Getting more deposits from the people and that's why the interest rates have increased
2. Preserving whatever cash they have using whatever means they have and one of them is to taking off their ATM network from the common grid. And that means no more transactions on the ATMs of other banks

And this is what I have to say about. I hold a corporate salary account with one of the leading private sector bank (compulsory for me to hold salary account with this bank only). One of the perks that comes bundled with the salary account is that I can have 15 transactions per quarter on the ATMs of other banks. That's a luxury right? Not at all!.

I was going to drop my friend home and then it happened. We had dinner and then I walked her home. On my back I realized that I have only 4 Rs. in my purse plus 1 ATM/Debit card and 2 Credit cards (plastic money huh!) . Auto wallahs don't take change and to save embarrassment I got down at a place (from a shared auto) till where the fare was only 4 Rs. Now, armed with 3 plastic cards and zero cash I rushed to nearest ATM. It was of a little known Catholic Syrian Bank but the ATM counter stated they take Visa cards so I went in. 2 transactions were rejected. My fear grew on me. The other ATM was about 1 and half kilometers. I decided to walk. The other bank was HDFC bank. Despite of the VISA thing they still rejected the transaction. Next was SBI ATM, result the same. Indian Bank, Corporation Bank and Andhra Bank, transaction declined, unable to process, temporarily unable to process, Try another time etc etc. The same result.

I was becoming desperate. I had an option to call my friend and ask her to come and give me some cash. The other was to take a meter auto till my office and ask the guy to wait. Then walk in the campus, take the money from the ATM and then take the same auto to home. I will save embarrassment. I decided not to use the first option and then suddenly walked to the guard of the HDFC bank and asked him if I can get the ATM of my bank nearby. He laughed and then said try Kotak Bank ATM next door. It might work. I have never waited like this for the sound of machine counting the notes. The machine waited for a while, then whirred, hissed and there came the Gandhi. I thanked the guard and the god and then took the first auto home. It was 11 already in the night .

I tried 6 banks. Under normal circumstances I could have got the first transaction going and could have saved the extra effort but then these are not normal times. These are extraordinary times and we all need to be extraordinarily patient. We can afford one or two failed transactions but if a bank fails, we just can't even think about it. So be prepared for one two failed transactions. A better way is to keep enough cash and be less reliant on the plastic money.

Later I realized that I had a 500 Rs. note torn from the two corners again courtesy the ATM of the same bank. As I noticed that note only after like 10 days, I didn't bother to complain. It's better to take that note to my brother in law who works for a government bank and who I know will change it without asking for proof that it came out of ATM of his bank. I still have that note.

Behind the scenes of Karzzz..

I don't have sufficient words to write a review for this super successful movie (as predicted by the great modern day movie reviewer Taran Adarsh) and kyon naa ho.. sometimes even Himesh ji fall short of words to praise (guess who?) himself.

The high point of the movie is the helicopter scene (now that's really high right?). Where a plastic faced girl (who happens to be the promoter's daughter) narrates her story about how the rockstar "monty" (read Himesh) couldn't take his eyes off her during a party. Then suddenly a chopper appears in the air with Monty hanging from the door and singing his favorite song. I don't know how the director might have planned this scene but it's really the high point of the movie and you know what's a high point means. Well, let me clarify a bit. The chopper is flying high, Himesh is singing a high note (which even beats the shrilling noise of the chopper blades and reaches out to it's target audience), the girl standing down is feeling high with the sight of the great rock-star Monty wooing her and well you feel that the director and script writer are also high on something. On something really disgusting.

Well, "Himesh ji ki movie ho aur Himesh rockstar naa ho, ho hee nahin sakta". After all if cinema is the mirror of the society then Himesh must be a super star, rock star in it. It's so easy to portray the character in reel life which you really are in real life. So Himesh is again the great rock star here. I am wondering if Satish Kaushik had the idea of remake or Himesh went with rock star idea to him. If Himesh went to him then what could have went behind the scenes, here is a take on that -

Himesh - Satish jee, ek rocking movie ka idea hai. Rock star ka re-incarnation hai. And believe me it will be a mindblowing, fantastic, rocking movie. Let's make a remake of Karz

Satish - Ok, sir let me guess you will give music in it. You have the music ready and you want to show me some tunes.

Himesh - Kya Satish bhai? I will definitely be the music director but this time I also want the Rock Star role.

Satish - "God! whose face I saw in the morning?" Ok! well but this role was played by Rishi Kapoor. People will compare.

Himesh - So what! May be I am a little low on the face value but apni height aur weight to Rishi jee jaisa hee hai. And people can easily relate with me with the role of Monty. I am already a rock star sir.

Satish - Ok Ok. Let's make it but I might need some financial help from you.

Himesh - Don't worry. You are in the company of a rock star. I have another idea. (whispers..) we will take Shweta "Indra Kumar's daughter and Kumar sahab might get ready to promote the film as well.

Satish - (Oh no!) But will Kumar Sahab agree? Why a remake to launch his daughter. He can launch her with any big star.

Himesh - Well superstar nahin to kya hua? I am a rock star. You go and try and he will definitely agree. (Click for more masala)

And there was the origin of one of the best dialogues of the movie where Danny reminds the modest Himesh how big a superstar he is. Anyways Indra Kumar might have said that "Apni beti ko launch karne ke liye kitne logon ko superstar ke darwaze pe khada dekha hai, but yanha to kahani bilkul ulti hai, Ek Rock star khud meri beti ko launch karne ke liye mujhse bheekh maang raha hai. Le lo, jitna paisa chahiye le lo. " (I have seen many people begging at the doors of superstars for launching their daughter, but here the rock star himself is begging to launch my daughter.).

(After reading the script of the movie, Indra exclaimed in pride that this is his dialogue and therefore they deducted Rs. 2 from the script writer's salary. Why Rs. 2 only? Well, who will pay more than Rs. 2 per line for a script like this and that too for a remake).

And so it was. Himesh is really a modest star. Though he has all the qualities of a star but he maintains modesty (that's what he says) and a proof is that out of some 600 possible chances to gloat with glory Himesh only does it 3 times. There are at-least 3 irritating (modest) reminder dialogues that who is the rock star in the movie. The best is when Danny says this "Tumhara jaisa rock star hamse hamari bachhi ka haath maang raha hai". Well everyone feel so overwhelmed with the personality called Himesh. And you are so head over heel in love with the character of Himesh in this movie that you don't want to see anything. Not the multiple facial expressions of Urmila, not even the antics of Sir Judaa when he plays music on his funny arm. Well, I liked Sir Judaa and the way he plays some tunes on his mechanic hand and there pops the explanation from one of his side kicks. This side kick knows Sir Judaa so well, that you often wonder whether Karan Johar will borrow some ideas from this relationship between Sir Judaa and his side kick for his next movie "Yaaraana 2". You never know.

Himesh sings, he dance and he romances. He does all with grace. May be right from the beginning he had this idea that he has to carry the movie on his shoulder as this is movie about him. And except those punchy dialogues, he does well. The other star in the movie is Urmila and the super star in the movie is a temple which is in the middle of nowhere. You can see it from a height of 35000 feets, you can see it in the dreams of Himesh and you see it in the end.

Thanks god the movie flopped this time or it would have given him another chance to make Karzzzzzzzzzzzzzz is back or "Karzzzzzzz ka bojh" with the opening dialogue as "Rock Star kisi ka karzz nahin rakhta".

Have you even wondered whas is behind the title Karzzz? Well, whatever it was. I feel that atleast the director and script writer were dozzzzzing off on the job. Or may be "dosing" off. Dosing off what? Rock star's rocking music ofcourse. "App bhi naa, dirty mind".

So what's next? Jimmy or Rocky? Who will be back with Himesh next time. Believe it or not, it must be some rock star in the next movie of Himesh. After all, it's so easy for him.

Life threat for Sachin .. (Behind the scenes)

In the afternoon a press conference was called in Nagpur where the commissioner of police announced that there is threat to life of Sachin Tendulkar and this threat comes from JEM (a terrorist organization Jaish-e-Mohammad). Well, in the evening itself the version of the story changed and in another press conference it was clarified that there is a death threat but no specific player was mentioned. Here is a humorous take on what could have happened behind the scene(s).

Immediately after the press conference the senior officers called the commissioner -

Senior - Arre! Dixit sahab, what is this baba? Kuch bhi bolte hain (you say anything). If your people are pressurizing you for extra match tickets then there are better ways. What is this?

Mr. Dixit - Sir, you are experienced. You know all this. But now I have announced already. Well, I think I might call another press conference.

Senior - nahin, leave it. It's ok, let police wallahs also have some fun. Waise bhi who will come to watch test match yaar? I don't think that even terrorists have so much idle time.

Mr. D - Oh thank you sir! but what should I do now. I think people have already started writing about all this.

Senior - Call another conference and say that the threat is not for any specific player. That way you might be able to accommodate more police men into the stadium. I also have pressure from my people to get passes. This way I will save the embarrassment.

And by the way, why you mentioned JEM? Did you get any email from them lately?

Mr. D - How do you know that?

Senior - Man! without these self declamatory emails, how would we the people will come to know who is doing what? And you know what we do when we don't know anything about something? Chalo chalo.. go ahead and make the arrangements.

Behind the Scenes of Movie "FASHION"

This is my second post in the series of "behind the scenes" series after I wrote the BTS of "Hello". Well, between Hello and Fashion there have been several movies worthy of a Behind the Scene post but Fashion is something which deserves immediate attention. So here is my version of what could have happened "behind the scenes" while the movie was still being made.

Well after watching the movie I literally asked my friend that "is kahani se kya shiksha milti hai". She bought into the realistic message and replied that "you shouldn't forget about important things to reach an unworthy milestone". I think her message got lost in translation anyways her actual words were "Hamein pata hona chahiye ki hamari limits kya hain and uske liye apni family and friends ko nahi leave karna chahiye jo cheez unworthy hai". Well, my understanding was different. Through this movie Madhur actually teaches you rather reminds you of two age old important moral lessons.

1) Aurat ek mard ke bina adhoori hai (A woman is nothing without a man)

2) Kutte ki poonch kabhi seedhi nahin ho sakti (A dog's tail can never get straight)

Well, you do not agree then, read on..

The high point of the movie comes when a struggling model points to a man and asks another struggling model "is that Madhur Bhandarkar, what is he doing with this model"? "Arre wo to Madhur Bhandarkar hai, wo is model ke saath kya kar raha hai". The girl replies "yes he is the guy who makes realistic cinema and he might be doing his research as I have heard he is making a movie on Fashion". "Suna hai wo Fashion pe movie bana raha hai, realistic movie, shayad research kar raha hai". Well well well, she was not the first person who was asking questions about Madhur Bhandarkar being seen with a struggling model and about his so called "research". Anyways, at that point of time you actually think that Madhur Bhandarkar might have put some of the insights from his research in the movie as well. Afterall, the movie doesn't show anything more than what everybody already know about the fashion industry. Well, it's nice to see that somebody is finally following the Himesh Reshamiya way.

Let's get on with the concept. Madhur is narrating the concept to one financer -

(M)adhur - Sir, is baar apni movie ka concept mast hai.
(F)inancer - Leave mast wast, tell me ki scenes hain yaa nahin?
M - Kya baat karte hain Sir, lagta hai aapne meri pichli movies nahin dekhin? Ab sir realistic movies mein scene to honge naa sir?
(F) - Ok, concept kya hai?
(M) - Fashion industry pe concept hai sir. Jara sochiye ki mast mast models about 2 hours tak ramp walk karti rahengi short short dresses mein. Just imagine.
(F) - Okay concept to accha hai but from where you got this inspiration?
(M) - I was talking to this struggling model lately who told me some of the nitty gritties of the industry.
(F) - Oh that's fine that you are talking to all these models but make sure that you doesn't get stung again. Thoda bachke raha karo yaar in models se, ek baar pahle bhi fans chuke ho.
(M) - (Smiles) tabhi to sir, this time I am taking no chances. I am doing it under the cover of research.

Another high note of the movie when Priyanka was interviewed by Kittu Gidwani for the modeling assignment.

Kittu Gidwani - You have come to become a model? (Model banne aaye ho?)
Priyanka - No, Supermodel (nahin, Supermodel)
Kittu Gidwani - I like your confidence

Just picture this scene -
a senior guy from top IT company interviewing a fresher for an IT job (don't ask questions about why IT company, arre bhai! aajkal aur kaun recruit kar raha hai IT companies ke alawa?)

Interviewer - Consultant banne aaye ho? (You have come here for a consultant post?)
Interviewee - Nahin, CEO (No, CEO)
Interviewer - Oh! I like your confidence (but for the time being you can go to hell, assho**)

Maybe Madhur wants to be a little realistic here and he might be sending the message across is that all that works in the modeling industry is a combination of nice figure and a history or at-least a promise of zero brain activity (I wonder why blonds are not the obvious choice then).

The movie goes on to strengthen the first morale that a woman is nothing without a man. First a struggling female model needs a handsome struggling male to tell her that she has only one option to find an apartment in Mumbai and that is by living in with someone. Then she will need another man to promote her and then another man to fall back on. If she does not succumb to demands then she is doomed. Comeon Mr. Bhandarkar what the hell you are thinking here.

Throughout the story, Madhur slowly keeps on building the second premise that "Kutte ki dum kabhi seedhi nahin hoti". Though Priyanka tries hard to keep Kangana away from drugs but in the end she dies of overdose proving that you believe it or not but you can't teach old dogs new tricks.

I don't understand from where Madhur picked this bit of his research. There have been quite a few wardrobe malfunctions in the recent past but still I have never heard of a model committing suicide for that.

The movie is an average attempt from Bhandarkar at realistic cinema and it actually deviates and look like a typical masala movie which teaches you the same old lessons.

So all you cute girls who are aspiring for a career in modeling, please watch this movie and convince yourself that your rightful place is in your hometown itself (if your hometown is Mumbai then god bless you) and all you cute girls who once aspired to become a model, you can console yourself by telling that thanks god! you never became one. I would like to repeat the most repeated dialogue from the movie for the movie. "Spare me the horror!"

Jokes apart as I have mentioned earlier, the movie is a good time pass flick. Better than some other movies running parallely.

* Image courtesy - http://www.GlamSham.com