Compromises and Expectations.. Journey to self 1

Well we keep saying to ourselves and to others that one should not expect anything from others and thou shalt not make any compromise in life but then the fact of the matter is that after all that talking to our innerselves we still do it the wrong way. We build expectations and then we compromise also.

After a hard day at work, when your body aches for the sack and the only thing in your life which can put a smile on your face is perhaps an idea of a sound sleep. You wish your mind can go blank and you feel nothing. I remember I use to sleep like that even without a hard day. This is something new to me that I have to find reasons to sleep and just a small thing, a small thought can leave me with sleepless nights. Well, I don't know what I am thinking now but somewhere I feel that I am making a conscious mistake. There is something which I need to rethink and think again but then consciously I am procrastinating it.

When you have someone in your life to which you can relate everything, life seems to be pretty easy and problem free but then the fact is that in a way you increase your problems. In a bid to become solution for others you compound your own problems. In the process to provide others emotional security, you become more insecure in yourself. I don't know but lately I have started feeling insecure for all that is happening around me. Though it appears that I have everything I always wanted - a promising career, promises of future, a friend who really cares and it feels great to feel like that but then next moment I feel that I have become wreckless. I know that whatever the promises my future holds for me is not certain and what I have today is again intangible. You cannot quantify feelings right?

I seriously think that I need to plan certain things in my life, I still need to hit the track (and not only the sack) @ full throttle. The life which seems so rosy now may not have unveiled its full face to me and that leaves me to do a lot of preparation. Some questions are needed to be answered, some answers needed to be weighed on the scale of reality. I guess an introspection session is long overdue and when I am not sleeping for the next two hours that is the best thing I can do. Have to look for the answers within and then for some unanswered questions, I have to look beyond me. Let's see how far I can go with this stuff.